Blunt Objects

At Last!

2011-05-27T14:01:00.002-04:00

Why I chose the worst winter in 30 years to move back north is a an unanswerable question, and shall remain an eternal mystery. But, finally, I no longer want to cry every time I step foot outside! The soft spring breeze wafts through my windows, I can smell the lilacs outside, and hear the birds singing sweetly...as I hunch palely over my Wacom tablet, scribbling furiously, making stupid artwork instead of being outside enjoying the beautiful weather. Heavy is the hand that wields the Silly Art stylus...

Happy Easter!

2011-04-20T10:54:00.005-04:00

Sorry I missed the last holiday (you know, the fake Hallmark one intended to push up sales of flowers and candy), but there was an urgent distress call from Federation Outpost 11 next to Sherman's Planet, and the mission took several months.

Truth Fairy

2010-12-20T18:47:00.002-05:00

Santa Assange brings you the gift of the truth for Xmas this year. Unfortunately, head elf Bradley Manning is missing from this action shot, as he is busy wasting away in military prison at the moment.

Happy Holidays!

Halloween Fun

2010-10-22T09:03:00.002-04:00

Thanks to Judge Jack Camp, whose antics have given a COMPLETELY new meaning to the phrase, "Sober as a judge"!

Hard Labor Day

2010-09-01T11:11:00.002-04:00

Holiday greetings from Rod Blagojevich, seen here embarking on his new career. I would like to personally thank Rod Blagojevich for being so entertaining, at exactly the right times of year for me.

Holiday Fun at the Beach

2010-07-03T09:31:00.003-04:00

Rod and Sarah are having a party! If circumstances have left you without a job, such as the economy, or your own big mouth, or a publicly followed drug and alcohol habit, come on down!

Wishful Thinking

2010-06-06T00:02:00.003-04:00

This one gets filed under topic of "Scenes we'd like to see." Bp executives with their heads on sticks, float on buoys in the middle of the mess they made. Even Gamera comes out of retirement, flying to avenge his murdered brethren, and the dolphins have mutated from ingesting all that oil. The devil is quite pleased.

It's Funny, But It's Not

2010-05-29T11:25:00.003-04:00

The humor is as black as oil this Memorial Day.

Happy Bunny Day!

2010-04-02T00:52:00.003-04:00

It seems like every time I blink, we're at yet another holiday! I've missed a few, what with my entire world being turned on it's head in the last year, and I find myself back in my own personal vortex, the state of Florida, once again. Which is actually pretty good, lately! And of course, Florida inspires one to think of things that live in the water, and may hurt or even eat you, should you be so naive as to not consider whose territory you are entering when you set out to have fun frolicking in the surf at the beaches. This is what happened when I accidentally thought about Easter and ocean menaces at the same time.

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-18T11:16:00.003-05:00

Okay, so I've been slacking all fall, being preoccupied with minutia like surviving my move to the new desert Silly Art World Headquarters. But now the lizard, the batboy, and I are all settled in, so it's back to business. Happy Holidays to everyone!

Labor of Love

2009-08-24T18:05:00.003-04:00

I realize it's a bit early for the latest installment of holiday Silly Art, but, as I will be otherwise engaged next week, I had to post it early. As some of you already know, this summer I decided to move Silly Art Corporate World Domination Headquarters to Arizona, as I have recently realized that it is time for me to begin my next incarnation: "Crazy Painter Lady of the Desert". To this end, I packed up all my really important stuff, such as my Godzilla doll collection and my Elvis Pez dispensers, and gathered my crew of minions for a late summer road trip to our new home. We are all very excited about the new adventures that await us, but almost feel that we made a mistake in inviting Ricky Ricardo along for the ride: He insisted on driving the whole way, and that we be black and white for the whole trip! And no matter what I do or say, he won't let me be in the show! Who knew he was such a fracking control freak?

Have a fabulous holiday! Avoid labor!

Celebrate Independent Thinking

2009-07-03T00:38:00.003-04:00

Happy 4th of July!

Elvis is taking a break for this holiday, and leaving all the dirty work to his (mostly) brandy new crew of minions. Which, of course, means that Batboy has gotten a long overdue promotion to foreman, which he certainly deserves after all of his hard work so far this year. If I sound less coherent than usual, it's from sheer exhaustion--every time I thought I had this project finished, somebody else went and died, and I had to keep adding and adding to it!

Wake Up and Smell the Coffee Art

2009-06-03T22:24:00.004-04:00

Ahh, coffee and art - two great tastes that taste great together! These are part of a project I'm working on for my friends Chris and Nora, who are in Hudson, NY, roasting the BEST coffee in the country at Strongtree Organic Coffee Roasters. Great coffee deserves great art, so these (and more) will eventually be available to view on their website.

Bloody Babyhead Decor

2009-05-25T10:01:00.003-04:00

So, this is our pet alligator, Wally (har!), who lives just off the end of our dock in the backyard.

He's not real. He is, in fact, the chlorine dispenser that used to float in our kiddie pool, when we still had one (it was great--just big enough to hold two women on floats holding tropical drinks!) When we got rid of the pool, we decided it would be really fun to give the tourists heart attacks as they floated past our homestead in flimsy little kayaks, so we attached a chain and anchor to Wally, and now he stares balefully at anyone who goes boating past. Too enhance the illusion, we posted these signs on the dock, next to where he floats:

We hear gasping and yelling on a regular basis from this display, which is endlessly amusing, of course. The other day, Teri went outside to discover the baby head floating in the dinghy - a particularly violent rainstorm had knocked it right off the sign! It was also completely black with mold, so I decided it needed cleaning, in order to make the bloodiness show properly. Which led to this:

Now there's something you don't see every day! We liked it so much that we left it there for about a week.

Here Comes the Summer

2009-05-21T13:34:00.005-04:00

And not a moment too soon! I actually had to wear long pants and sweaters twice this winter!

Green is the New Beige (or, the Merits of Wearing a Dress that Matches Your Skin Tone)

2009-05-15T23:28:00.005-04:00

My friend Sue recently moved, and I am sending her a housewarming gift with this card that I made for her:

But here's the really crazy thing about it: I noticed, while I was making it, the the expressions on the faces of both the Batboy and the fifties housewife are almost the same!

What's up with that? Is she being held hostage, and forced to look like she's enjoying her domestic servitude at gunpoint, or has she simply been medicated into Stepford-esque docility? To me, there seems to be an underlying hysteria in that manic grin. As for the Batboy, he is always both hysterical and delighted at all circumstances in which he finds himself. And he loves cooking pies, sausagey thingies, and casseroles all at the same time, which is why, at present, he is screaming with delight.

OUCH!

2009-05-03T21:32:00.006-04:00

So, a couple of weeks ago, I had a molar that was hurting, on and off, for 6 months,pulled out. It was a terrible and painful ordeal, made a lot worse by my snotty dentist, who icily assured me, that, since I had opted to skip the root canal (which was twice as expensive), and just pull the bad tooth, that my teeth would most assuredly now all fall out, one by one. (By the way, why are dentists always so much haughtier than the guys who actually made it through REAL medical school? None of the doctors I've ever met have been half as snooty as ANY of the dentists.) To commemorate this occasion, my sister included the following photo in the birthday card that she sent me last week.

She's a very funny woman, my sister. I almost puked when I saw it. (Incidentally, this pic is titled, "Methmouth," for those of you who still think doing drugs is good fun. You know who you are.) Then I had a vision of the future, and was immediately compelled to document it. This is a photo of me now:

And this is me a year from now--according to Dr. Snootypants:

At this point, I will be forced to stay below the Mason-Dixon line forever, as it will be the only place I am able to blend in. Ouch!

P.S. I ate candy the entire time I was working on this.

Happy Easter!

2009-04-09T23:43:00.002-04:00

The creation of this new work has given me a new ability - I now leave flaming footprints up the aisles of any church in which I dare to tread, excepting Buddhist temples and Unitarian churches, both of which are known for their tolerance and enlightened sense of humor.

Snake Home Invasion!

2009-03-15T00:57:00.006-04:00

So, the other night, when I got home from feeding the herds, I was greeted by this:

A GIANT SNAKE!!!!!

Okay, it may not have been quite the size depicted here, maybe it was about 6 inches long, but when there is an actual snake in your house, it seems like a monster! My roommate and I did battle with it in a most furious manner, which involved a spatula, a paper plate, a tupperware container, and a LOT of screaming and jumping up and down. And where were the dogs that will literally bark at ants that walk by the front door? Sitting quietly in the living room, serenely observing our mayhem, coughing politely in an embarrassed way, and trading sneers with each other! We prevailed, however, and won the day. Two nights later, another showed up to avenge his comrade, but this time we were ready; my roomate Teri happened to be holding a flashlight in her hand at time, which, though not as effective as a battleaxe or morningstar, made a handy club for the enemy. She didn't really club it--she trapped half of it, while I ran screaming for the trusty spatula, and then managed to fling it, with very impressive ferocity, out the front door, and back into the night with all of the other creepy-crawly things. Nature is so much less icky when it's on t.v., where it belongs! And don't even ask why we own a spinning wheel--let's just say it's a great place to keep our vast collection of dust bunnies.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2009-02-12T07:48:00.003-05:00

A match made in heaven!

Passing the Torch

2009-01-17T23:01:00.010-05:00

One era ends: a new one begins. This is "All American Pieta," created to commemorate the momentous inauguration of our new president. Thanks to my co-conspirator and sometime muse, Mark Duhamel, for providing the original inspiration, and heartfelt best wishes for President Obama, who will, hopefully, be able to clean up the mess with which he has been left.

All American Pieta

Below are the individual statues of our cast of superstars, along with the names of the original statues from which they were created.

Barack and Uncle Sam
Pieta by Michaelangelo

Cheneyus Aurelius
Cosimo as Augustus by Vincenzo Danti

Bush II
Louis XIII Kneeling by Nicolas Coustou

Condee and Rummy
Cupid and Psyche by Antonio Canova

McCaineo
Orpheo by Antonio Canova

Palina
The Diana of Anet by the Master of the Fountainebleau School

Hillarnike
The Nike of Samothrace, artist unknown

Happy Birthday, Elvis!

2009-01-06T22:35:00.002-05:00

Long Live the King!

Happy New Year!

2008-12-29T23:23:00.001-05:00

New year, new obsession!

The Perfect Gift

2008-12-29T23:17:00.002-05:00

What's this year's perfect Christmas gift for your teenage daughter? Why, Edward Cullen, obviously!

Happy Holidays!

2008-12-20T16:23:00.002-05:00

Politicians with umpronounceable names and really bad hair that swear into FBI tapped phone lines while committing crimes are just so Christmassy, don't you think?

The True Spirit of Christmas

2008-12-19T13:16:00.004-05:00

Noel

Year of the Reptile

2008-11-22T22:20:00.003-05:00

In February, I declared 2008 to be the Year of the Reptile, and spent the rest of it plaguing all of my loved ones with holiday cards on this theme. These are all of the ones I have sent so far this year, including my latest, Thanksgiving. I am thankful for so much this year: that we finally elected the SMART candidate for once; that I found so many of my friends that I thought were gone forever; that my liver hasn't exploded yet; and that I have friends who don't seem to mind that I harass them with silly art via email. Some of them will no doubt be thankful that the Year of the Reptile is almost over, but they shouldn't breathe that sigh of relief too deeply--when the reptiles retire, there are lots of other creatures waiting for a year of their own, too!

Thanksgiving

Halloween

Colombus Day

Labor Day

Independence Day

Easter

Valentine's Day

Cleopatra, Queen of Denial

2008-11-17T18:48:00.002-05:00

Cleopatra is my house mate and BFF Teri's pet Great Dane, who is normally a big, goofy, happy behemoth. But she is also extremely neurotic, and when Teri went on a month long road trip last summer, Cleopatra had a total meltdown--she wedged herself under Teri's bed, and growled and snapped at me whenever I tried to coax her out to visit the doggie powder room--i.e. the back yard--coming out only when she was unable to contain herself any longer, once every couple of days. After about two weeks of this power struggle, I awoke one fine Sunday morning to find a gift from her- a giant pile of dogshit strewn from one end of the front foyer to the other. Thus I was inspired to create the following portrait.

The following month, Teri went on another road trip for two weeks, and I waited with dread for the games to begin again. But luckily, Cleopatra's pea sized brain was unable to retain the memory of what had transpired earlier, so she forgot to sulk under the bed the whole time. I felt I had to give credit where credit was due, so I remade her portrait, showing her in her new incarnation.

Playing Catch Up

2008-11-17T18:34:00.002-05:00

"Reptilian Financial Solutions"

"When Godzilla received his foreclosure notice from Wachovia Bank,
he devised his own bailout plan."

Evil, thy name is Joe Six Pack.

Election Comix!

2008-11-10T09:46:00.006-05:00

This is a comic strip created with my recently acquired muse and co-conspirator, Mark Duhamel, to celebrate the 2008 presidential campaigns and election, and the end of the Bush administration. Watch for more collaborative efforts in the future!

The Fat Lady Sings

2008-11-10T08:48:00.004-05:00

This one was actually made before the September primary. And that's a cigarette in Barack's mouth, not a joint.

McCaininess

2008-11-09T19:26:00.004-05:00

This one was for a contest that I never entered. A friend sent me a picture of McCain extracted from a shot taken the night of one of the debates, where McCain was sticking out his tongue, and you were supposed to make something with it. Which I did, and when I went to the site to enter the contest, you had to register with them, and blah, blah, blah,--so of course, I didn't enter, because that was way too much effort. And I'm not a joiner. But I hate to waste a good bit of McCain, especially if it's got a dash of Cheney in it...